April 24th, 2020. A date etched into my memory and now what’s known as our “would be” wedding day. I’m writing this post thankfully not in tears (those were shed all last week), but with a glimmer of hope amongst the dumpster fire of the current times. A few key things made today pretty special and so I figured if nothing else, maybe we could help some other folks in the same boat.
1: Eat your wedding food!
We were planning on a fancy taco bar for our reception and thankfully the restaurant was still open for pickup today! We were able to support a small local business and have some fun food to feast on. Bonus, if you’re like me and craving drives in the car to see that the outside world still exists, the car ride to go pick up food was quite refreshing!
2: Listen and dance (maybe badly) to your wedding songs!
We jammed to some of our favorite songs that would have been played at our wedding to make it feel a little more special. Perhaps you and your partner can enjoy a bit of an after dinner dance party to keep the mood light. No need to feel the pressure of a million eyes on you. Just let loose, forget you have two left feet, and just enjoy each other! Plus….you won’t have to worry about your drunk friends splashing red wine on your fancy wedding attire.
3: Drink some champagne, or smoke some weed, or whatever takes the edge off!
One of my bridesmaids gifted us a bottle of fancy rose champagne at our bachelor/bachelorette weekend. We didn’t really have a good enough time to crack it open, but leading up to planning our would be day we liked the idea of the fancy stuff. It was super fun to cheers at dinner and just have a little toast. The effects of the champagne weren’t too bad either (refer to the two left feet mentioned previously!). Also, may I take a moment to thank whoever invented bubbly alcoholic drinks for all of the fun they’ve created?
4: Make sure to call your loved ones!
We had a slew of messages and calls and facetimes with some of our wedding party, family, and guests. It was so special to know that they were celebrating us from afar and still excited about the party that will eventually happen. It can feel really lonely being in isolation even without missing on a huge event. It made me so sad to think of all the people I would have hugged today. Instead, we got to feel showered in love from all over the country, which still feels pretty incredible!
5: Consider giving a small wedding gift to your partner!
I had already received my wedding gift (the most amazing little leopard gecko there ever was), but I had a small gift I planned to give him on our would be day. He always makes fun of me and gets annoyed when I steal ALL the blankets that enter our home. So I found a site that would print a letter on a super soft blanket. I decided to get an excerpt from my vows to him printed and gave it to him today! It was a super big hit and helped today feel significant.
6: Let your emotions out as you need to!
This goes without saying but emotions are complicated and overwhelming for everyone. Especially those that are having to change their big plans and wedding day. I felt a sting of jealousy seeing wedding photos being posted from elopements. I felt pitiful like something was robbed from us. I wanted to just not get married, not for lack of love, but for lack of motivation. It’s hard, really hard. All of it. For everyone. But don’t feel like you have to hide your emotions or not feel them, all of it is valid. Talking it out with your partner is really important as a way to support each other during this time.
All of this to say that there isn’t a right or wrong way to celebrate your would be wedding day. Just like every wedding is different, every couple is different, what feels good to you might not suit everyone else. Remember to focus on what really matters, your love. Weddings are fun parties and ways to celebrate but it won’t make or break your marriage. Part of a relationship is getting through hard stuff so you can savor the sweet even more. So from someone who works in the wedding industry, has been planning a wedding for over a year and a half, and had to postpone their wedding… it sucks, it’ll be ok, and your love is still worth celebrating. Don’t let this be anything but a story to tell when you’re old and wrinkly together.
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